The Mrs. Yoy Blog: The Quarantine Coronacles

Day 45. I had four zoom * calls. (*Mr. Yoy came in while I was writing and asked me to change this to Zoom Platform calls so as not to make their trademark generic). I saw so many friends and supportive faces today.  Tonight's blog is dedicated to them. For helping me connect with other adults and chip away at my isolation. I'm using a tool I learned from them to present this blog: A ROCK, A STICK, AND A LEAF. A ROCK What am I rocking right now? Hmmm...naps, sneaking out for walks, and Zoom Platform calls. I plum wore myself out talking on calls all day and I snuck in a 15 minute nap around 4:30PM. It was perfect. Little E and I rolled downstairs around 6PM to fix dinner. Big E was camped out on the couch watching YouTube videos. Apparently, he wasn't thrilled that we had "invaded his space." What happened next was a 45 minute meltdown over sharing space on our massive leather couch. Big E politely asked Little E to go into the other r...

44. Like my age, take note balloon lady! I had such a great birthday, really I did. So thanks to all my friends and family that made it so. But today, today was back to the grind. I snuck out for an early morning walk before the rains came. This was especially challenging because we stayed up (this part might be a little debatable) until after 1AM finishing Ozark. I am so intrigued by this quiet evil nerdy genius. And Mr. Yoy and I were dying to find out just how many lives this man could destroy. Spoiler alert: it's everyone's. I came in from my walk just as Big E was finishing up his class's zoom call. I went to the bathroom and noticed this guy in my bathtub. I'm pretty sure this is some sort of 2020 omen that Hannibal Lecter is going to roll up into East Cobb and eat all our faces off. I mean, things at this point couldn't get any worse... Silence of the Lambs ruined moths for me forever.  We ordered in sushi and poke for lunch. The boys ...

Day 42. Tomorrow is my birthday. Back in March, I pleaded with the universe to have these kids back in school by my birthday. It would be the greatest gift I ever received, with the exception of my minivan.  Now that my new reality has made itself at home, I know how foolish and laughable my request seemed. I've moved onto bigger and better things....like sleep away camp. I'm pretty sure that the worst birthday present I'll ever receive is coming via an email on Friday, May 1st. And it rhymes with "shlamps manceled".  We had a slow start to the school week. I rolled out of bed around 11. After I had squeezed in just a few more minutes of Ozark. We've got three episodes left, and me, not watching the rest today, while Mr. Yoy is at work has been a massive exercise in self-control and marriage trust.  We didn't actually start schoolwork until after lunch. Lunch continues to devolve into total garbage. Mr. Yoy bought these beauties during one...

Day 38. Our county has provided digital learning plans for Monday-Thursday, so today was the last day of learning for the week. Little E took his 9AM call from his bed. Approximately six minutes after I woke him up.   I guess there are worse ways to spend your first period. I think back to high school. What I wouldn't give to spend a few more minutes in my bed... The boys worked on their school assignments and I used the break in the bad weather to sneak out for a walk around the block. Because I've been aimlessly circling the neighborhood streets for weeks, I've become very aware of my surroundings. Who has the sh*t lawn. Who puts in the effort. And definitely when I giant tree limb comes down. We had just had a line of storms roll through. Was it possible there was a lighting strike? I knew just who to put on the case...  I told them to examine where the limb broke off to see if it was charred. There was a lot of weather discussion (EARTH SCIENCE =...

Day 37. Happy Earth Day! Three times today I thought it was Thursday. I actually hung up on my mom in a panic because I thought I had forgotten about a call I had at 11:30 on Thursday. I then thought that we were done with schoolwork for the week because it was Thursday. I clearly need to step up on my sudoku games as my brain is decaying inside my head. Big E had a Zoom call with his class. He closed himself in the office and I went for a walk. When I came back, the call had just ended. And Big E was holding two rolls of toilet paper. I asked him what they were for but never received a clear answer. Something about flexing all the toilet paper he had. I guess he was bragging to everyone that we did, indeed, have a square to spare. It wasn't until later that his teacher messaged me to ask me about his Zoom toilet paper background. I CANNOT. I have a Zoom call later and I hope all my Poland trip friends will enjoy me floating in and out of a toilet paper background. Last nig...

Day 36. Here in Georgia, we are getting ready for a soft opening. My pedicure from my recent trip to Poland has grown almost halfway out. It's truly how I'm keeping track of my time on the inside. But when my nail salon opens on Friday for business, I won't be there. Because in my gut, I have a bad feeling about all this. I think this just about puts the nail in the coffin for our dreams of summer camp happening. Sigh. Little E had a class zoom call at 9AM. He set himself up (EARLY!) at the kitchen island. Big E came by at the sight of a computer and the two of them recorded themselves fake farting and replayed it over and over again. Everyone found great humor in this, except me. How can two seemingly intelligent children also spend time doing this? BOY MOMS: I NEED A VIRTUAL HUG. THIS VIDEO DOESN'T ACTUALLY WORK. BECAUSE I'M AN ACCOUNTANT, NOT AN IT SPECIALIST. We moved up to the playroom to work. Big E and I read from his World War II Atlas. Toda...

Hi there. Long time, no write. The weekend was a blur. Today was a blur. To be honest, I can't recall if my kids did any schoolwork on Friday. It was 43 years ago and I don't know how you expect me to remember that. I do remember that I got down to work... After Marie Kondo-ing the hell out of my spice cabinet at the beginning of 2019, it took approximately 15 months for it to go from alphabetical, unexpired spices to WHERE THE HELL IS THE SALT AND WHY IS THIS BOTTLE STICKY? Things are now back in their rightful places and in a commitment to keeping things neat and orderly, I will no longer be cooking. I PROVIDED YOU WITH THE BEFORE SO YOU COULD FEEL MY ANGST.  In the midst of my organizing, I baked this amazing chocolate cherry challah for shabbat. It was like cake. My cousin suggested icing, but that's blasphemous! Even more blasphemous, Big E. He doesn't like bread, even my homemade challahs. It's like he's constantly carb counting. even though ...

Day 31. Let me just say, I'm drinking wine from a can. Locked in the office. But how did I get here? Things started out as regular as they can in quarantine. Both boys had Zoom calls with their respective classes to begin the day. I had to wake Little E up at 8:53AM to give him a few minutes to let his sleep face morph back into his regular face. I went out for my walk while the boys were on their calls. I was able to catch up with a dear friend over the phone, which always livens up my walk. Little E began his assignments, one of which, was some more origami. I posed his crane in my beautiful rose bushes.   WE ARE GETTING ALL ANNE GEDDES UP IN HERE.  After lunch, Little E and I went to work on our latest piece of sidewalk chalk art. We both agree that it came out excellent. The key is blending the chalk with our fingertips. It also files down our fingerprints so now we are ready to commit all sorts of crimes.  NOT A POLICE DEPARTMENT IN A 50...

April 15th. Tax Day! Well, usually, anyway. It reminds me of cheap-wine fueled blowouts at the Three Dollar Cafe in Buckhead. Surrounded by my CPA family, celebrating the end of another grueling busy season. Today is much different, with the exception of the cheap-wine. This morning started off a bit bumpy. Little E could not get his WI-FI working on his computer. In general, when it isn't working, it's because I've paused it through my handy-dandy Xfinity app or he's run out WI-FI for the day, also set through the app. He immediately came at me for pausing his WI-FI, which I didn't. I did, a few weeks back, unplug all internet coming into the house after the boys refused to put down their devices. I basically unplugged a bunch of wires that led to blinking lights and boxes. According to the experts, and by experts I mean the Yoys, ever since my tantrum, the internet just hasn't been the same. Little E really let me have it and with that, I put on my sne...

Day 28. School's back in session. This transition from Spring Break back to school went much smoother than in years' past. Mostly because we didn't get startled awake at 6AM by our alarms. I think the boys were legitimately bored last week. The novelty of doing nothing all day for a week, coming off of doing mostly nothing all day for a month, made this strikingly obvious for them. Little E even asked me to print out all of his assignments so he could get workin'. This was after we went for a nice walk. Yes, I got him to walk. (P.E. = CHECK) Our screen-free weekend experiment, born out of Big E slugging Little E in the shoulder blade, causing him to lose feeling in his arm, continued into today. Except they must use computers to do their schoolwork. My compromise was allowing Big E to use my desktop, a MAC, which he was oddly against. He had to code a website for an ELA project and he had to research how to do it, because it was different from his PC. But he...