The Mrs. Yoy Blog: The Quarantine Coronacles

Greetings from Florida!  There have been many things to blog about, but I caught a case of the lazies and haven't been motivated to write.  Plus, my parents bought a computer with the new windows operating system and it might as well be DOS. Today, everything changed. My parents' neighborhood has a kiddie pool.  Said pool is riddled with my parents' neighbors' kids and grandchildren escaping the frozen tundra of Kansas City, Boston, and Long Island, just to name a few. Big E loves the kiddie pool.  We are usually the first ones to arrive and then Big E's "friends" begin to trickle in. I put friends in quotes because within minutes of meeting, Big E has made forever friends with the kids (and their parents). This morning we met a family from Boston.  Their son was almost two and very adventurous.  Let's just say this kid drank a ton of pool water, even with his dad shadowing his every move. Big E was immediately drawn to Boston Daddy.  And

We spent a significant amount of time in the van today. And we don't have the super duper fancy van with televisions in the headrests. We have the baseline van.  The one where you are forced to have conversations with your children. If you know Mr. Yoy, it will come as no surprise to you that there is a great deal of talking going on during our drives. Below are today's hot topics in no specific order: 1) My Barbie Collection.  I was way into Barbies.  I had the townhouse, the car, even Skipper.  Big E wanted to know if I played with toys even when I was ten. My memory is vague, but I think I played with my Barbies until then.  I mentioned that to Big E and he was immediately intrigued. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BARBIES? WHY DID YOU GIVE THEM AWAY? And finally, he cried.  Because he was sad that I gave all my Barbies away and he couldn't play with them. 2) Our Living Situation.  Big E is learning about the human life cycle in his pre-k class.  Baby, child, teen

Tomorrow, Big E will embark on his first hallucinogenic drug trip. And no, I'm not taking him to the Phish concert. Big E has a small cavity in between two of his back teeth.  It is the first, but certainly not the last, time that I feel like I failed as my son's care provider.  No amount of brushing, flossing, and quarterly fluoride treatments would stop this thing. Our dentist recommended that we go ahead and fill it.  And he uses laughing gas in the process.  His doomsday teeth predictions easily sold me on the procedure.  I have only one experience with laughing gas.  I was a child and needed some teeth pulled to progress on the six year adventure that was my braces.   A few deep breaths of the gas and my pediatric dentist amazingly transformed into a robot.  As he asked me harmless questions about my summer camp in his robot voice, I began to freak out.  I closed my eyes tightly.  I allowed myself to peek at my robot dentist.  But instead of a dentist he

Mr. Yoy has informed me that I've been doing a crap job of documenting the recent happenings of the Yoys.  He has put me on a performance improvement plan and if I don't meet his specified goals, I think I may be out of here. November 22nd was the date of my last blog entry, which Mr. Yoy was quick to point out was almost one month ago. So what have I been doing with all my free time, you wonder? 1) Removing 15,000 photos from my encumbered iMac to the cloud.  You think I post a plethora of pictures to Facebook and Instagram, you should see the sh*t going down on my computer.  It's a guarantee that the Yoysers will resent me when they are adults.  And yes.  You really do need hundreds of pictures of your kids in the tub.  It never gets old.  Ever. 2) Binge watching Homeland. The season finale is Sunday and I'll be damned if Yahoo News spoils things for me. 3) Reading.  Yes.  You read that correctly.  I read two books in the past month.  They were fantastic rea