Adam Sandler: Where Art Thou?

The Yoys need you to pull out your guitar and sing the Chanukah song, ASAP.

Yesterday we took Big E to Toys R Us to pick out his 5th birthday present, a bicycle.

I've been delaying buying him a bike, as we live on the midpoint of a giant hill that would be classified as a mountain in Florida.  I have visions of him racing uncontrollably down our street and crash landing into the stop sign that my neighbors pretend is not there.

Big E hopped onto a Spiderman Huffy bike and it was love at first pedal.  Mr. Yoy and I know nothing about selecting a bike, so we frantically paged for some help.  Our goal was to spend the least amount of time in Toys R Us because things tend to degenerate very quickly within its walls.

While we waited for help, Big E happened upon the Disney Christmas Storybook Collection.  It was a beautiful book with glossy pictures on each foil-lined page. He was enamored.

CAN WE BUY THIS?

I glanced down at the book.

NO.

My answer was not the correct answer, so he moved on to Mr. Yoy.

Mr. Yoy repeated my answer and Big E flew into a tailspin.

MAYDAY!  MAYDAY!  JEWISH KID GOING CRAZY IN BIKE DEPARTMENT OVER CHRISTMAS BOOK!

Mr. Yoy sat Big E down on the floor in the helmet aisle and tried to explain how cool it was to be Jewish. (I hear you laughing. Stop.)

But we were not going to win this battle.  With the smell of Christmas and consumerism in the air, we were dead.

We had a birthday party to get to, so I ushered the kids out of the store.

The twenty minute drive to Marietta was a flurry of crying and screaming.

I WANT THE CHRISTMAS BOOK!

I WANT TO BE CHRISTIAN!

PLEASE!  I'LL BE GOOD.  FOREVER!  I PROMISE!

I didn't know if I should laugh or cry.  I feel for Big E.  I really do.  The month of December is magical and we are on the sidelines (for the most part).  I just don't know how to make this easier for him.  I know we could have caved and bought the book, I'm just trying to limit his religious confusion.

Any words of advice?