The Mrs. Yoy Blog: The Quarantine Coronacles

1) Natural Childbirth 2) Public Speaking 3) Streaking 4) Filling cavities 5) Eliminating Caffeine 6) Dealing with auto mechanics on a regular basis Today was bad, real bad.  We made it to NY in one piece, but I was hating life on that airplane.  I'm too exhausted to go into the details, but I will share later. Believe it or not, Big E won best behaved.  And no one napped, except for Mr. Yoy. Anyone want to add to my list?  Just think of the worst thing in the world you'd have to deal with. Ok, go!

Big E dumped out all of his blocks to build a castle.  When he was finished with his blocks I asked him to please put them back in their bin.  Without so much as an objection, he started singing the Clean-up song and put all of his blocks back. I almost fainted.  It has been a constant battle of wills with him. Unfortunately for him, I am ranked in the Top 5 for most stubborn human on the planet, so I always win. I praised him and told him what a good clean up job he was doing. I really was so proud, I can't put it into words.  It is like seeing all of your hard work finally come to fruition. I feel like we have definitely turned the corner.  Don't get me wrong, he still ignores me plenty, but I feel like I am chipping away at his two year old armor. We leave tomorrow for my brother's wedding in NY.  I have been dangling this as a prize for about two months. For example:  If you don't let me change your diaper, you can't go to NY.  Instant diaper change.

On Big E's head. I had just brought both Yoys upstairs to wind down before nap time.  They were playing nicely.  Big E grabbed his bear out of his crib and was swinging him around.  He launched bear up in the air and he landed behind the couch, just out of Big E's reach. At that moment, I realized that I had to use the restroom, pronto.  Those two Coke Zeros I had ingested earlier in the day to keep me awake had gone right through me.  As I walked into our bathroom I told Big E I would get bear for him in a minute. Then I heard it.  A loud crash.  I ran into the bonus room and there was the floor lamp lying on its side.  It had taken off some wall paint on its journey from standing next to the couch to its current position. I assessed the damage.  Besides the wall, no children or lamps were hurt.  Big E was crying hysterically. I think it scared him and he knew he was in big-time trouble.  Not to be left out, Little E started crying, too. They were both crying.  Why d

Tonight we grabbed an early dinner with Uncle Yoy and Cousin Yoy.  As we paid up our bill, we asked Big E when he would see Uncle Yoy again.  This is our tricky way to get him to sing "Tomorrow" from the musical Annie . On cue, he started singing.  At first he was Shy Ronnie, but his confidence grew as he realized the whole table was captivated by his performance along with our server and a few other servers watching him from across the empty room. Little E was giggling as anything Big E does is hilarious to him.  By round five of "Tomorrow," Big E had quite the audience.  Everyone within earshot was laughing and smiling, including all of us Yoys.  It was amazing.  He was so proud of himself. Cousin Yoy began clapping.  She was very impressed with Big E's performance. Our server asked us if we had just watched Annie . Nope. Why would she even ask that?

Little E is teething in a big way.  I can tell he is very uncomfortable. The two main symptoms of his teething are his unusual fussiness and this face he keeps making. He curls his lips inward like he is a shriveled up, gummy old man. Then he starts smacking his gums.  I was watching him do this and thought, wow he looks vaguely familiar to me.  Why is that? Then it hit me!  He looks like Jim Carrey's famous Fire Marshall Bill character.  It is uncanny. "Lemme show you something!" - Hopefully not Little E's first words.

Let's play a game. When I say Little E what comes to mind? Did you say skinny jeans?  Good and accurate guess! Today I bought Little E his first pair of skinny jeans.  Granted, I bought him a 2T hoping I can pull them up over his thighs.  This and some butter to grease up his legs should guarantee they slide right on. Who can really pull off these jeans anyway?  I know they are either loved or hated by women everywhere.  Rock stars, maybe.  Skinny crackheads, for sure.  And now, Little E. He is going to be one stylish baby and I can't wait to see him wearing them. Wish me luck! Little E legs circa April 2011

Big E just reported this to me.  This phrase is not in my normal weather repertoire.  I'm wondering where he picked that up. Maybe he'll be a weatherman! Watch out Chesley!

Suspect: Big E Height: Somewhere around 3 feet Weight: Pushing 30 lbs, if he's lucky Time: 12:45 am Date: Sunday, June 19th I had been asleep for about an hour.  Mr. Yoy was watching some crazy movie in bed.  He nudged me to say that he thought he heard Big E.  I came out of my coma for a moment, mumbled something, and fell back asleep.  Moments later I hear Mr. Yoy galloping down the hall to Big E's room.  Then I hear Mr. Yoy screaming for me.  I bolt out of bed and run into Big E's room.  Big E is crying hysterically.  From what I can see, there is vomit all over himself and his crib.  Dang!  I forgot my glasses.  I run back into our room, grab them, and run back into Big E's room.  Super mommy to the rescue!  Mr. Yoy starts the tub.  I bring Big E into the bathroom and stand him at the toilet in case there is anything left.  He is shaking uncontrollably.  It is pathetic.  He is done.  Mr. Yoy bathes him while I strip his bed and wash everything.  Big E relays how h

There was a segment on the Today Show last week about how important roughhousing between dads and their kids is.  It leads to confident, resilient, fast-thinking, problem-solving children. If this is the case, my kids are going to be the most confident, resilient, fast-thinking, problem-solving children on the planet. The next time Mr. Yoy is tossing up Big E dangerously close to the ceiling fan or hanging him from his ankles and  tic-tocking him back and forth like a grandfather clock, I'm going to take a deep breath and walk away. I will suppress the following words: You are going to decapitate Big E! or He is going to vomit all over the place! At least I will try to.

True Story We were at a pool party on Saturday and I was walking around with Little E.  Big E ran up to me crying.  I asked him what was wrong.  Mr. Yoy, who was hot on his heels, said: Maybe it's the pop rocks I gave him. What?  You gave a two year old pop rocks?

Dinner time yesterday was its usual cluster.  Little E was in the highchair crying for his food.  Big E was under my feet.  I was frantically pulling food out of the fridge.  I flung open the freezer to grab a bag of frozen vegetables when a tupperware full of frozen meatballs took a suicidal leap.  It glanced off of Big E's head and then exploded on the floor.  Who knew that frozen tupperware shattered like glass? Big E started screaming.  I picked him up and tried to comfort him.  Bad frozen meat balls!  I had two screaming kids.  Ugh.  In the meantime, the poodle was there to lick the frozen meat.  She is good for nothing.  I put Big E down and told him not to move as I cleaned up all the pieces of tupperware. Mr. Yoy was more upset that I had to throw out the meatballs than the fact that Big E was injured in the event. Today, I am going to reorganize the freezer to avoid future food catastrophes.

It is like a soap opera. There are some seriously messed up people involved in this trial.  The whole thing is very sad and sometimes I feel like the personalities overshadow the fact that a little girl was murdered. Watching the trial, I have a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that Casey Anthony stoically sits there and rarely tears up. While there are days that I am so frustrated that I lock myself in the bathroom for my own time out, I cannot imagine the thought of something happening to the little Yoys.  I would lose my mind and "tot mom" (shout out to Nancy Grace!) is so calm.  It is eerie to me. Personally, I think she did it.  I know they don't have that much evidence, but if anything, she should be convicted for being the world's crappiest mother. That is all, sorry for the tangent.  I'm back to HLN.

We lured Big E to the car today by telling him he was going with Mr. Yoy to work.  Mr. Yoy came with us to drop Big E off. As soon as we exited the highway, Big E knew he was in trouble.  He started crying "no school! no school!" and then "Daddy work!  Daddy work!" It was pathetic. It made me so sad.  Mr. Yoy walked Big E (I mean carried a screaming boy) into camp. The good news is that his preschool teacher is at camp today.  Hopefully she can help soothe him. I felt awful. I haven't received a call from his counselor, so hopefully he calmed down. Pick up is in a few hours.  I'll see what he says today.

The trip from my parents' house to our house is 590 miles, door-to-door.  Not undoable in a day, but just a very long day. Factor in two kids and a poodle with killer breath and it makes for a house of horrors on wheels. Leg 1: Palm Beach Gardens to Gotha We started out about 15 minutes behind schedule, mostly because Big E had a last minute poop right when we were loading him up.  Foul on him.  This leg of the journey was uneventful.  No stops.  Big E had a snack and Little E took a nap.  We were fresh and had ice cold Coke Zeros.  We could take on the world. Leg 2: Gotha to Ocala We spent a few hours in Gotha visiting with the extended Yoy family.  Big E had a great time playing with his Grandpop.  We had lunch together and then loaded everyone back up.  We made it about an hour and a half until traffic on 75 came to a stop.  Some guy trailing his boat dumped the boat onto the highway.  Awesome.  Thank goodness we are semi-familiar with the area as we jumped off the highw

This was the answer I received from Big E when I asked him how his first day of camp went.  Not the answer I was looking for, but it was something I already knew.  I saw him crying as I left him. So within moments of picking him up he told me he was upset and that he cried.  I am definitely getting my money's worth out of this camp. I asked him if he had fun.  Big E responded yes. I asked him if he went swimming.  Big E responded yes. I asked him if he went running in the sprinklers.  Big E responded yes. I asked him if he jumped off a bridge.  Big E responded yes. Yikes, this kid is either a mega liar or this is an extreme adventures camp for 2 year olds. He did tell me he took a bath at camp and ate carrots.  This could be true.  I am in the midst of emailing his counselor so I can get the whole story.  His version is just not cutting it.

Just a quick note to let you know the Yoy family is back in the ATL.  We made the 600 mile trip back today with exciting stops in such towns as Gotha, Ocala, and Gainesville. It was a very, very, very long 12 hours and we are so glad to be home. I'll post details of the trip later, it is just too soon to really talk about it.  The wounds are too fresh. " This is only a 60 minute plane ride" - Mr. Yoy

I was taking a shower in my parents bathroom.  I left the door to the bathroom open as I know I have forfeited all privacy via my children.  Big E was in there within two seconds of me turning on the water. The shower door glass is frosted so I can only see a vague shadow of Big E.  But he narrates everything he is doing, so I know he is there. I hear him rambling about paper towels and cleaning up water.  I'm not sure where he got the paper towels or why there would be water as the shower is enclosed.  I see lots of movement through the glass.  What is going on out there? I open up the shower door a smidge and see that Big E has pulled all of the toilet paper off the roll and is vigorously wiping the floor.  Yikes.  I yell for reinforcements, Grandma.  She comes in and takes all of the "paper towels" away from Big E. About the time I am washing my face he realizes he can reach the light switches in this place.  Score! He proceeds to say "Light on!  Light

Me and the baby yoys are visiting my folks for a few days.  Oddly enough it is about ten degrees cooler here than in the ATL.  We are enjoying the break in the heat. Big E is obsessed with the "lake" behind my parents house so we have been taking twice daily walks down there to identify birds and other things I'm pretty sure he is not actually seeing in the lake such as sheep. Little E has shown his first interest in crawling.  The motivating factor is a Palm Beach magazine.  What can I say, this kid has class. We miss everyone in the ATL and we'll report back later on our trip.

Big E and Little E wear the same size diaper. One is 2.5 years and one is 10 months. Try and wrap your brain around that.

Hey Big and Little E, are you excited to eat at Hooter's on Saturday night?

Little E is cutting a million teeth this week.  I know that isn't physically possible, it just seems like it. Today, he was trying to chew on the wall. My kid literally eats paint.   He is that kid! I need to get him some chew toys, STAT!

I feel like everyone has a finite amount of patience.  I have always been blessed in the patience department, but these days it is quickly spent on my children. Today we had to abandon 285 due to a wreck and were taking the back roads home.  There was a motorcyclist that exited the highway behind me.  I had a moment of pity for him.  As I peered at him through the rear view mirror I saw him unzip his jacket and try and cool himself off a bit.  Temperatures here are approaching 100 degrees and I cannot imagine wearing a jacket.  Anyway, that moment passed quickly. When the light turned green we both made lefts and he quickly did a zippity move to cut me off and get in front of me.  Unfortunately for him we both got stuck at the next light.  I'd just like to say that I get really upset when people drive irresponsibly now that I'm carting around the Yoys.  Yes, I have a big car with all of the latest safety features, but I am still wary of the ATL drivers. As we are sitting