The Mrs. Yoy Blog: The Quarantine Coronacles

The Kitchen Sink It has many uses.  Now that the babies are here, I find myself spending an obscene amount of time standing at the sink.  I have decided to officially change my mailing address as follows: Yoy Kitchen Sink Atlanta, GA All I do is clean bottles, wash down the highchair tray, and clean off the plates upon plates of Big E's uneaten meals.  I did invest in a mat, but I'm thinking I need a spa mat, or maybe just set up a foot massager there. That is all.  I am off to wash bottles.  Sweet.

Yes, a famous line from Dumb and Dumber,  but also, this phrase could be used to describe the noise Big E was making at dinner. He was taking his plastic fork and scraping it on the underside of the glass kitchen table.  The noise he was producing was comparable with running your nails down a chalkboard. Little E thought it was funny, so of course Big E continued.  He had a captive audience. And I was about to jump out of my skin.

Today I ran to Babies R Us to pick up some supplies for the little Yoys.  My list included toothpaste and toothbrushes as Big E likes to almost eat his toothbrushes which makes their shelf life about two weeks. I tossed the bag on the kitchen table when I got home.  It remained there all day. After dinner I was running around downstairs trying to get the trash together to take out for pick-up.  I heard Big E repeating "Thomas, Thomas".  I figured he just wanted to watch some Thomas the Train.  I walked into the kitchen and there he was sitting in the middle of our glass kitchen table.  He had fished out his Thomas toothpaste from the bag and was trying to open the box. I was shocked when I saw him up on the table.  I was sort of glad that I didn't see him climb up.  I would have had a heart attack. On a positive note, he seems to really be into brushing his teeth.  Yay for personal hygiene!

Mr. Yoy is on a tear to make Big E a viral video star.  Mr. Yoy is always making suggestions on how we can accomplish this. So this poor girl, Rebecca Black, recorded a song and corresponding video for her 13th birthday called "Friday".  To date it has received 113 million hits on YouTube - I'm not making this up.  That is up there with Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber.  I don't know if you've actually heard the song, but it is pretty bad.  I would feel bad for her, but she is actually making some money selling it on iTunes.  I hope all of the ridicule ends up paying for her college, because I'm pretty sure this will be her one and only "hit". Anyway, getting back to my story, Mr. Yoy had a great idea.  What if he could teach Big E the words to Friday?  What if we then recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube?  So Mr. Yoy started playing the song for Big E and sure enough, he started singing it.  Even worse, he started requesting it. Toda...

I've been taking Little E to a weekly music class with Aunt Yoy and Cousin Yoy.  We go on Wednesdays when Big E is at preschool.  This week Big E has no preschool due to Passover break, so I took Big E with me to music class. Big E is an experienced music class attendee.  I took him for a year starting when he was nine months old.  I thought he'd enjoy going back to class, especially since he has shown such an affinity for singing. Little E's music class is at a different location, but has the same teacher, Miss K.  I talked up music class all morning and on the way to class. I somehow managed to open the door with Little E (20+ pounds) in one arm, my diaper bag on the other, and using my legs to "herd" Big E.  Big E took one look at Miss K at went insane. He started screaming NO, NO, NO!   Tears flowed abundantly. All the mommies with the well behaved children turned and looked at my temper tantrum throwing Big E.  Yes, I realize I am ...

Little E cut his two bottom teeth in January.  Since then we've been waiting for the top two to come through.  Once he started, Big E's teeth came bursting through his gums like machine gun fire.  He had most of his teeth well before he turned one. This aided in the introduction of real food.  As you know, teeth are very useful in chewing. I've been diligently monitoring Little E's top gums and I am finally seeing some action.  He is currently cutting four teeth up top.  Poor baby.  He cannot find enough things to chew on.  The drool production is in overdrive.  He soaks through his bib and then his outfit.  I really should just keep him naked at this point. I broke down last night and give him some baby Advil. Here's hoping he's got some teeth in by Monday night as I'm sure he'll want to get in on the Matzoh action.

We had another glorious day here in the ATL.  After nap time, I took the Yoys outside to play with our neighbor.  Big E was chalking up their driveway.  He was running all over the place with a stick of chalk in each hand.  He was a little Yoy on a mission. He was stepping down the one step and tripped and fell.  He managed to hold on to both pieces of chalk, but his knees did not fare so well.  He didn't cry, which was good, but he had this stunned look on his face.  I rolled up his shorts (which are kind of like pants because he is on the short side) and he had bloodied one of his knees pretty badly. This was a first for both of us.  Hmmm, what to do now?  I had flashbacks to the Neosporin ads that have the mom with the little carry everywhere Neosporin spray.  I, of course being Mother of the Year, did not have this or anything remotely useful.  My neighbor suggested baby wipes.  Sure, these are the cure-all in my world....

Picture this: bath and bed time at the Yoy household. I already had Little E down for the count.  I was sitting in the rocking chair in Big E's room and chatting on the phone with Cousin Yoy.  Big E was really excited for bath time and was systematically removing his clothing.  He got everything off but his diaper.  He asked me for help and I obliged. I'm half paying attention (my bad) and Big E is standing naked in the middle of the bedroom.  Then, like a beautifully sculpted fountain, Big E starts peeing all over the carpet.  I scream out and startle him.  I also cause severe hearing damage to Cousin Yoy who unfortunately is still on the phone with me. No harm, no foul.  I clean up the urine which is child's play compared to some of the stuff I've cleaned up this week. But this starts me thinking.  Potty training is forever on the horizon, taunting me.  I am disturbed because Big E had no idea he was going to the bathroom until...

Puffs are little pieces of cereal goodness that dissolve in babies' mouths.  We started Big E on Puffs back in the day and he loved them.  Eventually, all of his teeth came in and he moved onto bigger and better foods.  I was happy about this because these Puffs are not cheap. Today, I gave Little E his first taste of Puffs.  He made a few weird faces, but eventually he started opening his mouth in anticipation of the next Puff.  Not to miss out on any food opportunities, Big E was immediately at my side.  His eyes lit up.  He knew the container I was holding in my hands.  It was his beloved, long-lost Puffs.   Right in front of me, Big E regressed about 12 months.  He started signing "more" and "please".   Amazing.   I, of course, gave into him because it was past 5 o'clock which meant my patience meter was on empty.  Here, eat the $5 Puffs.  And don't eat the lovely dinner I cooked for you.

We are big into shapes here at the Yoy household.  We have toys that identify shapes and books.  Big E requests that I draw shapes with chalk on the driveway and with crayons on his art easel.  We have even expanded beyond the holy trinity of the square, circle, and triangle. Today Big E pointed out his window and exclaimed... OCTAGON ANOTHER OCTAGON ANOTHER OCTAGON ANOTHER OCTAGON Sure enough, he was pointing at the four-way stop outside his window.  There are four stop signs, or in his mind, octagons. I was so impressed with him.  How smart is my Big E? When Mr. Yoy came home we were talking about our day and I told him this story.  I was beaming with pride.  Then Mr. Yoy burst my bubble.  He said he had showed Big E the stop signs yesterday and explained to him that they were octagons. Dang, I am NOT raising a baby genius! There is always hope for Little E.

Yesterday, we had our new cleaning people clean our house.  We opted for the initial deep clean for $200.  They indicated they would be here for about four hours.  They were here for seven. The Yoy house was gleaming it was so clean.  I could see my reflection in the hardwoods. I said aloud to nobody in particular: You could eat off the floors! Big E heard this and apparently let it digest overnight.  First thing this morning he dumped an entire YoBaby smoothie all over the kitchen floor. Uh-oh! ( In general, something I never like to hear) The clean floors stayed that way for approximately 14 hours.   Later in the day Big E may or may not have eaten some sidewalk chalk.  He kept making this weird gagging noise.  Mr. Yoy called him over and Big E started throwing up all over the place.  Mr. Yoy and I were so stunned we couldn't even move him off of the rug or give him something to throw up onto. Again, there went my newly...

I know it may seem like I have fallen in.  But don't worry readers, I'm alive and well in New Orleans.  Mr. Yoy and I took a little trip for our five year anniversary. We are without the little Yoys and I can honestly say that I miss those little boogers.  We fly home tomorrow and my battery will be fully recharged.  I'll be ready again to take on the world of diapers, tantrums, spit up, and Thomas. I'd like to send out a big thank you to my folks who have been taking care of the babies while we've been gone. I'll be seeing you guys on the other side of complete and utter madness!